Of Hipsters And Haircuts
Someone posted this article to my Facebook wall today. It’s about three angry hipsters who threw “half a red brick” through a window of an Alston Urban Outfitters. I can understand why hipsters would be against the Urban Outfitters chain, a store which has faux-hipsters as its primary clientele. But vandalizing the store? Come on, bros. Also, throwing only half a red brick? That’s weak. If a hipster is gonna trash a store, he should go all out. I’m talking graffiti, toilet paper, and something a little more anti-authoritarian than half of a red brick. Maybe a hammer or something? I don’t know, but whatever it is it should be ironic. There’s nothing ironic about a brick.
Pictured: Irony personified.
On a completely unrelated note, I got my haircut today for the first time in a while. Going into a barber shop is a disorienting experience for me. It starts right when I get in the door. Whenever I go into a building, I always feel like I should announce my presence in some way. Like when I enter a restaurant I might say “Hey, table for two please.” When I go into a shoe store I’ll say “I’m looking for a pair of black Nikes in a size 10 1/2.” I don’t need to do this at the barber’s though; everyone knows why you’re there. Nobody walks into a barber shop and says “Umm, I’ll take a haircut.” But for some reason this understanding that everyone is in the building for the same reason is disconcerting.
Another problem that I run into is describing to the barber how I want my hair to look. The guy who cuts my hair is this really old Italian guy who speaks minimal English. “So what are we doing today?” is what he always asks me once I get down in the chair. If this guy’s English was a little better, I’d just tell him “Make me look like the most generic white man imaginable.” But I’m not sure he knows what “generic” means, so I just tell him to cut it short in the back and a little longer in the front, which is in effect the most generic white person haircut imaginable. There has to be a better way to describe this look, but I’ll be damned if I know what it is. Oh well, at least I don’t look like this guy:
Note: photos courtesy of http://www.latfh.com/, the most reliable internet source for pictures of hipsters.