Happy 4th Of July

Sometimes I wonder if I’m patriotic enough.  I want to kill people, yeah, but on both sides.

-Jack Handey   

Another 4th of July has come and gone, and I just wanted to throw out what I think has to be the stupidest 4th of July traditions: fireworks.  I’m not sure how this tradition has become so ingrained in American culture, but the whole thing needs to end.  Fireworks were invented by the Chinese in the seventh century, so I think the time has come to choose a new form of celebration.  What really annoys me about them is when people clap.  What are these people clapping about?  The fireworks, or the people setting them off?  Another annoying aspect of the fireworks situation are that you always have a few jokers who try to one-up their peers and stand out by setting off fireworks either 1) way after everyone else has stopped, like at 1 AM on July 4th or 2) on the wrong day, like the day before.  There should be legislation passed stating that fireworks can only be used on July 4th from 7 P.M. to 10 P.M.  Anyone caught violating the law will be sent into the stocks, and citizens will be allowed to pelt the offenders with rotting fruit, because nothing says patriotism like pelting a criminal with oranges.    

Speaking of patriotism, am I the only one who gets infuriated by the random displays of patriotism that occur around Independence Day?  The other day I saw a man in a full American flag outfit: American flag bandana, shirt adorned with an American flag and a bald eagle, and those stupid American flag pants.  Come on, bro, take it down a notch.  It’s not that I don’t like patriotism, I just don’t like the idea of people saying “Hey, it’s time to be patriotic!”  It’s the same thing as people who all of a sudden become all nice and charitable around Christmas.  If you’re gonna be this gung-ho, American-loving, “my country right or wrong” type guy, do it all the time.  Don’t use a holiday as an excuse to ramp up your xenophobia, eh, love of your country.   

   

Speaking of patriotism, am I the only one who gets infuriated by the random displays of patriotism that occur around Independence Day?  The other day I saw a man in a full American flag outfit: American flag bandana, shirt adorned with an American flag and a bald eagle, and those stupid American flag pants.  Come on, bro, take it down a notch.  It’s not that I don’t like patriotism, I just don’t like the idea of people saying “Hey, it’s time to be patriotic!”  It’s the same thing as people who all of a sudden become all nice and charitable around Christmas.  If you’re gonna be this gung-ho, American-loving, “my country right or wrong” type guy, do it all the time.  Don’t use a holiday as an excuse to ramp up your xenophobia, eh, love of your country.   

   

I think my problem with the whole patriotism thing is simply that I don’t understand it.  When someone says that they love America, what precisely do they mean?  The government?  The people in the country?  Their state?  The country’s history?  Don’t get me wrong, I like living in the United States.  It’s a pretty good country (whatever that means) from what I can see.  You just won’t see me with an American flag bandana anytime soon.   

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~ by fc13 on July 5, 2010.

One Response to “Happy 4th Of July”

  1. Maybe it’s nice people believing in a country, as it is a way to improve and develop all together into a better future.

    Sometimes I wish it happens in Europe, where it seems that -instead of joining forces and efforts- we are trying to move away from each other.

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