Celtics Pick Up Fat, Slow, Old Guy
The Boston Celtics picked up yet another guy in the twilight of his career, as it was announced this morning that Shaquille O’Neal will sign a veteran’s minimum contract. One might think that with all the old guys on their roster, picking up a guy who routinely sits out large chunks of the season for mysterious injuries might not be the best move, but as an NBA fan I’ve come to realize that logic rarely factors into these decisions. You could make a legitimate case for Shaq being the worst player in the league last year. He was awful; slow, lazy, lethargic, getting in everyone’s way, mucking around, etc.. It’s kind of like when you’re choosing sides for a pickup game, and someone inevitably picks up the huge guy. Sure, it seems like a good move at the time. He can dominate the glass, block shots, get some buckets down low. But then you start playing and he’s jogging up and down the court with the like a lumbering elephant, demanding that you slow everything down and throw him the ball down low every time, and just fouling the shit out of everyone on defense. Sure, Shaq will grab some rebounds here and there, but did the Celts really need another old guy?